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My Temporary LDR
By Kate 10/22/2008My story is a bit different to almost all the ones already on here. I wanted to share it though because I am so grateful for this website for providing some relief!
We met at the beginning of my last year at college. Randomly in the corridor he decided to hug me! We then realised we had a few mutual friends and started seeing more of each other during the day. Leading up to the Christmas break we were talking everyday on MSN, and becoming more and more open towards each other about our everyday lives. When he went away for Christmas I felt very alone, I realised how important he had become to me, and began to question my own feelings. Everyday I would hope he had been able to get access to a computer and would be online. Only once in three weeks did we talk.
Once we went back to college we spent more and more time together. Poeple began to notice and ask questions. He avoided most of these, and I began to wonder whether he was leading me on. In early January we went (with several other friends) to another friends birthday party. It was a dance, and having been looking forward to it and hoping and hoping he would choose to dance with me, he ended up spending most of the time dancing with my best friend. I tried not to feel upset, and decided to wait until we were back at college the following week. Before we got to then he droppped a bombshell. Sunday night we were talking on MSN and I asked what he was doing. I kept questioning when he said he was thinking about someone (I suppose I was hoping it was me). It turned out he had feelings for my best friend. I was so upset. When he asked me how I thought she would react I simply said I didn't know. I honestly didn't. By this point my friends all thought he was interested in me! He asked her out the following day. She said yes. I was devestated.
Their relationship lasted two weeks, during which time I hid. I buried my head in books and no longer went online. After this time I spoke to my friend. She said she didn't love him and never had. I was upset, she knew how close we had been, I couldn't understand why she had said yes without having any feeling towards him. Anyway, I told her how I felt and she told me that I should talk to him. I was scared, I'd never felt so strongly about anyone let alone ever had a boyfriend.
I began to talk to him online again, things hadn't changed. It was as though we hadn't ever stopped. I asked him about her, and he said he had felt pressured after the dance. I had realized some pressure from other friends. We grew still closer and began to become more open about our feelings, although neither of us admitted exactly how we felt. I think we both knew inside though. People at college began to assume, and were refering to us as a couple. I liked this, although it was tinted by the fact that he hadn't asked me out or however you like to see it! I later found out that this was because he didn't want to risk what we had together and felt that we would work things out over time. Apparently this is because I'm special! :)
We shared our first kiss that March, but still didn't put a name to our relationship. We liked the ambiguity of not answering any questions. (We have since agreed on an anniversary date in early February - when we first spent the day together.) Things progressed and by the end of March he had bought a mobile phone so that we could keep in contact more easily. Things were great. I was so happy!
Our relationship continued and progressed over the 15 months. It was fantastic! Not long distance as this site is aimed towards, but still great. We were both so happy, and I couldn't believe I had found such a great first boyfriend!
Last May I was offered a place at university to start in September. I was excited, it was just what I had always wanted to do, but at the same time I was worried. What would it do to our relationship? We discussed it and I decided to take up the offer. The university is 110 miles from our home town. Throughout the next 3 months we made the most of our time together. We talked about the positives and the negatives. We were both very aware that it was going to be hard, and a very big change (at this point we were seeing each other once a day and were practically living together).
I have now been at university for about a month and a half. It is very hard, even harder than either of us imagined. We manage to talk most days on the phone, even if its just a quick goodnight. I found this website during a particularly low time. I missed him so much and thought I was so alone. It didn't occur to me that there were people having cross ocean relationships! I admire you guys so much! I have got some great ideas of things to do together or for him from here and I am so grateful! I realize that I am lucky, I spent the last 18 months of my life living just 15 mins drive from my boyfriend, and am now close enough that we can visit about once a month. But it doesn't stop it being hard.
He is hoping to start a course here in a years time, so we will be together again. I am hoping so much he does. It feels more bareable to think we will be together in a year.
Thank you for reading, Maybe some of you have been in the same situation and could offer me some advice.
Kate xxx
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